13 DEC 09

Sunday

It’s been quite hard to accept, but it turns out that I am the ultimate Blagging Failure. I can cope with the little things (vouchers, universal freebies, student discounts), but when it comes to the real, skilful art of blagging, I’ve finally found my position at the bottom of the pile. As I spend my Sunday afternoon trying to blag writing this feature however, I realise that I have had a useful insight into the Blagger’s World, from which I’ve drawn the following conclusions:

1. Blagging should be spontaneous. Pre-planned, thoroughly thought-out blagging not only takes the fun out of it, but also verges on the borders of organised crime.
2. The victim shouldn’t be aware of The Blag. The lady at the bar almost gave over a free drink, but her manager wasn’t sympathetic to my quest. All I acquired through honesty in this respect was a safety pin from a pitying friend.
3. Blaggers need to blend in OR have the ‘gift of the gab’. If you come across as a blithering idiot dressed as a pirate you won’t get anywhere in life. Unless you’re on a pirate ship.