Winter Olympics and Aqua Aerobics

"Aqua aerobics is not only a great way to get fit but it is also one of the safest. It keeps the heart and lungs healthy whilst toning the body and reducing fat, and also provides a good opportunity for a splash about in the water." - http://www.safewatersports.co.uk/AquaAerobics.html

This year was supposed to be an energetic final year at university, but I have to admit failure in that department. Back in October, I enthusiastically joined the kayaking club, begrudgingly paid the joining fee and disappointedly realised that however much I wanted to, I didn't have enough spare time to devote to floating in a boat.

Since then my regular exercise has consisted of running between lecture theatres at high speeds, feeding the ducks and sporadic bursts of energy leading to various one-off adventures.

Take, for example, my trip to Zwiesel in January. The aim was to learn Nordic cross-country skiing with a large group of air cadets.

The technique was actually surprisingly easy in terms of moving on skis. The part I found more difficult to master was stopping. This was inevitably going to end in disaster, especially when coupled with a particular 'Top Gun' quote deeply imprinted on my mind:

"I feel the need... the need for speed!"

And rightly so! Being human allows us to experience life at a faster pace than, say, a sloth, but we're still far removed from the league of the cheetah, and it's only natural to be curious.

So with this in mind I set off at the top of 'The Arber', one of the more popular cross-country skiing mountains in the Bayerwald, on an especially foggy day, having first encountered a pair of skis only four days earlier. It's easy to pick up speed on narrow, cross-country skis. Marvellous stuff!

Predictably I crashed about 200 m from the top of the mountain and went head-over-ski with a rather loud crunch.

What I didn't realise was that a handy gondola-type-contraption was waiting to take injured parties safely back down the mountain, if I were to ascend to the summit and hop on board. Instead, I opted to hobble/ski/fall down a further 10 km or so to the bottom, where my foot was screaming at me enough to warrant a trip to hospital for an x-ray.

At this point, I have to mention that the German A&E system is exteremly efficient. I was in and out in no more than 35 minutes, having had an x-ray and been through the complicated issue of discussing the results through a bilingual translator. It took me three hours just to get seen at Poole Hospital when I tried to get an x-ray in September!

The bottom line is that however much I like adventurous sports, it's extremely likely that I'll come home with an injury. It's not my fault; I get distracted. If I hadn't been trying to remember the second verse of 'Back in Black' as I rounded the fatal corner in Zwiesel, I wouldn't have joined the pile-up of cadets who had already hit the snow.

With this in mind, I've decided not to enter the Winter Olympics this year. Instead, I've taken up a potentially safer option: Aqua Aerobics.

But there's always Sochi 2014...