Dear Badgers

If you're a badger living in Dorset, Somerset or Gloucestershire at the moment, you're in trouble. I'm writing to inform you that you're being subject to a cull. You may have noticed some traps near your setts, or perhaps members of your family have gone missing. Well they're probably gone for good.

The British Human Government have decided to remove up to 2,000 of you within the cull zones during a six week period. We are currently in the middle of that period, and I promise you that there are people out there at night trying to help you guys. People are giving up their sleeping time to trudge the soggy footpaths in the countryside, looking for traps, hoping to prevent you from getting caught. Please don't blame us all.

I appreciate that you are a Protected Species in the UK, and that if I were to do you harm I could be prosecuted. But there are people out to get you, bearing special licences to shoot you in the night, or more conveniently, trap you in a metal box and leave you there to be shot at dawn. These people probably drive BMWs to feel better about themselves, but that's by the by really.

I know it's not your fault, and that you've become embroiled in a political war against Bovine Tuberculosis. I know that culling you won't solve the problem and that the government have ignored advice from their scientific advisors in favour of placating the NFU. I know that they've gone so far down this ridiculous road that they can't find space to turn around, despite the fact that they are lost. But there's nothing I can do about it. That's what's so frustrating, that you are being slaughtered out there tonight, for no real reason.

Culling badgers has not reduced Bovine Tb in the last pilot cull areas.

Scientists appointed by the government have assessed the cull as ineffective, and inhumane, and have called for an end to it.

It's costing us humans with jobs £6,000 to kill each one of you.

There are animals being shot in the night, and it's not achieving a thing.

I'm sorry for the state of our country Badgers, and for the way we're treating one of our most iconic mammal species. I'll be out on the footpaths tomorrow night. We'll do what we can Badgers. The best thing you can do right now is stay at home and avoid metal boxes and people with guns.

Good luck...

Remembrance

The old man waited for the crowds to disperse. His face was lined and serious, but he didn't look unhappy. His eyes bore both pride and sadness, but something about his delicate movements displayed contentment, or at least acceptance. He wore his smartest black jacket, with medals attached. His trousers were ironed perfectly with seams running down each leg. His white hair was neatly combed back, and his shoes were lovingly polished. He walked slowly and deliberately, unconcerned that he was travelling against the flow of traffic. They may have done their bit, but there was still something he must do.

As the parade prepared to leave, the marching band attempted to start up. The troops came to attention, the Brownies and Boy Scouts fidgeted, but few seemed to notice him. Glancing between his goal and the uneven ground beneath, he approached the war memorial. It was already surrounded by impressive wreaths, but was yet missing one thing which he carried, a simple wooden cross with one Poppy attached. Quietly he paid his respects. He stood before the stone memorial and knelt unsteadily to place his tribute. He remained there for a moment, one arm bracing himself against the stone, one hand lightly upon his cross. He was only six years old in 1945, but the war had affected him deeply. He pictured hazy memories, people he had loved dearly and some he had never had the chance to grow up with. Slowly he rose again, stood to attention and saluted.

"At the going down of the sun, and in the morning, we will remember them."
We Will Remember Them.

Finding the time

Trying to get back into the blog again has been fun, if not as productive as I'd hoped. But the combination of finding the time to write, balancing hobbies with work and embarking on a course outside of both areas has made me think a little about where I work best. I have come up with the following poles: The ideal place to work, and the totally hopeless place.

Good space: The room isn't exactly tidy, but there is enough space to breathe and think. There's space on the desk for the laptop, but ultimately she ends up using pen and paper, sitting on her bed. The pillow is propped up against the headboard as a back suport. Snuggly socks and a cooler-than-boiling cup of tea get her in a good mindset for creating. Everybody is out of the house. It's raining outside and she's confident that the only place to be is inside, writing.

Bad space: She sits at the lunch table, notebook visible to all. It lies between an unidentified sticky patch and a coffee stain. She can feel the eyes of her colleagues intruding on her work. "What are you doing?" It's crowded and people are coming and going, chatting and speculating. Nothing gets done.

Writers out there...where do you work best? How do you fit everything in?

Enrichment Boxes for Orangutans

The Sumatran Orangutan Conservation Project work tirelessly to rescue and rehabilitate wild orangutans that have become tangled up in the human world. Many of them have been pets, and all of them have been separated from their forest homes. The process of getting these animals back to the wild is a difficult one, and equipping them with the skills needed to survive in the forest is vital to give them a good chance of survival.

The SOCP temporarily house the orangutans in a specialist centre prior to release. Whilst here they spend important time with other orangutans, learning important social skills with other youngsters of a similar age. The centre is currently raising funds for some new enrichment boxes. These provide the orangutans with fun ways to learn new skills and encourage problem solving to access their food, something which will be vital back on the forest.

If you would like to find out more about this project, or donate towards the orangutan enrichment, click here. To specifically sponsor a feeding box, you can donate through the Confiscation & Quarantine PayPal link.

Tough times for rescued primates in storm beaten Cameroon

Ape Action Africa rescues orphaned and injured chimpanzees and gorillas and offers them refuge at a sanctuary in Mefou. They are cared for until they are strong and healthy enough to be introduced to others and live together in the forest.

This week tragedy has struck the rescue centre, with storms causing damage to the enclosures and injuring the primates. A large tree damaged the chimp enclosure and the chimps got out. The staff are still searching for 12 of them, but with damaged enclosures to return them to they are in need of quick financial help to fund the repairs. One of the chimpanzees, Bertie, sustained significant injuries, including broken ribs and is in need of medical treatment.

Ape Action Africa have launched an emergency appeal on their Facebook page. If you can help to fund Bertie's treatment and the vital repairs at the sanctuary, please visit their website.

Thank-you.

Another Celebrity, Another Exploited Primate

It has been a while, and for that I apologise. I have found myself at a time in my life where it has not been possible to write everything that I would like to. Earlier in the year I met up with several amazing people who brought this blog back into the forefront of my mind, so I've dusted off the keyboard (with thanks to Haji for all of her technical help and guidance), oiled the cogs and wound up the starting handle to resurrect the writing machine.

The picture that caught my attention on social media this week was of Gordon Ramsay (British Celebrity Chef) with his daughter, holding a young chimpanzee with the caption "Someone's been very naughty".
View One of the pictures here

Well yes, Gordon, yes they have, and it is certainly not the chimpanzee. We see so many images of celebrities posing with exotic animals at the moment that if you didn't know better you could be forgiven for starting to think 'it's not too bad'. But we do know better, and it is. When you're aware of how damaging it can be for these animals to grow up as a pet or in the entertainment industry, it's frustrating to see. When you've seen the physical and behavioural effects of enduring this sort of existance first hand, in animals that have later escaped the exploitation, it is heart breaking.

Chimpanzees are intelligent, sociable animals. They have the mind and the instincts of a chimpanzee, not a human, and they are best off living with other chimpanzees to express themselves as just that, a chimpanzee, not a human in Gordon Ramsay's kitchen. When celebrities pick up a cute baby animal and hire them for a photo shoot, or 'have them round for dinner', they not only have an effect on that individual but on the trade in exotics on a broader scale. It's easy for those of us who can see the damage it does to the individual to get angry and mutter about how stupid people are for keeping pet primates, but if you don't know the dangers to the animal (and the owners) and you see public figures parading around with their menagerie in public, it probably seems reasonable to do so. They have been set an example. Celebrities that have photo shoots with these animals are setting examples, bad ones. These examples are adding fuel to the fire that is the primate pet trade, encouraging people to get hold of these animals and bring them into a life that isn't suitable for them, a life that for a chimp can lead to fifty years of solitary confinement when they're no longer cute and cuddly ad no longer safe to visit Gordon for tea. And if a chimpanzee is too expensive, well that's when the little guys are targeted. The smaller primates like the monkeys and prosimians that end up neglected and isolated in someone's spare room when the novelty wears off, or the starstruck slow loris who'll never know what it is to forage at night in a rainforest, but has sure got a lot of YouTube hits for his owner.

There are plenty of celebrities who use their popularity to do wonderful things and promote worthwhile causes, and there are others who really need to do better.

The Run!

So, did I do it?

Yes!

Somehow, despite a road closure adding an extra kilometre to the route, I completed the Great Gorilla Run 2011!

I won't lie, it wasn't easy. There is definitely not enough room for a human head and sufficient oxygen to run five miles in a gorilla mask. It is also nearly impossible to run up and down stairs when the eye holes are so small that you can't even see the stairs until your big furry feet are tripping down them. In addition, it's very difficult to drink the bottle of water kindly placed into your enormous gorilla hands when you have a plastic gorilla face plastered over your own. If I've learned anything from this experience it is never to entertain the possibility of running the London Marathon in a gorilla costume. Or even a half marathon, or a less than half marathon, for that matter.

That said, it was quite a lot of fun careering around the posh business bit of London with hundreds of gorillas in fancy dress. My gorilla pirate received huge amounts of attention from passing children, many of whom seemed to think I was the real Captain Jack Sparrow (the fact that I was a gorilla seemed to go un-noticed). Something else I had to get my head around was that there will undoubtedly be hundreds of photographs of me-dressed-as-a-gorilla-dressed-as-a-pirate in Facebook albums of people I don't know, all over the world. The tourists at Tower Bridge seemed to find the peculiar British past-time of running in gorilla costumes more interesting than the architecture!

But most importantly, we helped raise lots of cash to help The Gorilla Organization with their work to protect the gorillas and support sustainable development in their last remaining strongholds. I do not yet have a final total, but I will let you know when I do. In the meantime if you would still like to sponsor me retrospectively, you can do so at This Address!

If you have been kind enough to sponsor me already, thank you very much!


^ Me!

^ Fellow Gorillas

^ Lonely Gorilla